Grace

When we transfer a worldly approach of success to the Christian life, we are in
for disappointment. And unfortunately, this understanding of spiritual success
has infiltrated modern Church.

Steve McVey in Grace Walk, page 29.

I was reading some journals from college the other day and found that I had been doing this then, and still do this. Not as much now, but my journals indicated at times that I measured myself by my spiritual emotion, how much I prayed, what I got out of the Bible, or things that I did. I worked so hard and sometimes I still do. Still, at times when I know I can't, I finally find my place in God's will: giving up, crying out, and asking God to take control. When all I want to do is strangle those I work with, or lash out in anger, I see that salvation is still to be gained. Gained, but not obtained. Received, but not worked for. Don't get me wrong, I am not in need of salvation from hell. That has already been gained. I need salvation from myself. A holy life does not come by spiritual discipline, or by accountability, or by selfless acts, or by penitence. Perhaps it can only be received after crying out. Received as a gift but not deserved. Just as salvation can only be received by grace, holiness also, can only be received by grace. Finally, when I surrender myself, he lives through me. I find myself loving the loveless, and talking to them about grace.