Life or Death

On October eleventh of 2008, my grandma Gene died after about one year of Alzheimer’s. On that day I knew I would never see her again on this earth, though she had never truly been the same. To me she was already dead, though very much alive and probably more happy in the last year of her life than the past fifty or more, before her mind, her identity had changed.

I do not know if that has helped me accept her death more quickly or if it is the fact that that I know I will see her again. That was only confirmed when a bird flew into the mass during which at that very moment the priest was saying a blessing over her casket. I really believe that God was seeking to us in that moment. Either way when I think of death, my own or another Christian, I think of renewal, reunion, and rest.

Death for a Christian is not a curse or a disease or a genetic flaw afflicted to the entire human race, but generally a portal - whether within the right time, or prematurely - to a new life, to already lost loved ones. To me I see it as the last sacrament. Even though death was initially the curse for the sins of Adam and Eve, God seeks to restore order to his creation by supplementing his sacraments: forgiveness with baptism, the infilling of the Holy Spirit with the last supper, and resurrection with death.

I am going to see her again. And if after a lifetime of hardship and loss I can look forward to seeing those I love in heaven. Then I have no reason to fear death, or reject it, or stave it off. Of course that is looking at it simply without the mess of current relationships and worldly stresses and the inherent need to secure the future of the world for our children pulling at oneself. But the only hope in the end is to let go and rest in the security of God's promise and His plan.Even so I will miss seeing her when I go over to the house to mow the lawn... If it's still there next summer. That's another issue all together.