Some time ago, when I was still in college majoring in Youth Ministries, I began to think about the way youth ministry was done. I didn’t think it was right. I asked questions like, why did the youth have to be separated from the rest of Church? Why did the generations have to be separated at all? I began to develop a concern about the limitations of one person being the center of teaching and leading of a bunch of teens while there was much more wisdom in the whole church. In fact, why did these leaders always seem to be pitted against that wisdom? It doesn’t even make sense that one Youth Leader should be in charge of teaching and discipleship of all the teens if the parents and board can never find one who does everything they want right, and keep axing them after two strikes and your out.
What’s even more disturbing is that if the Church is supposed to be supportive and even grounded in the family, why does it separate the family and teach them independently? In a perfectly working mechanical system, it’s possible for everyone to be taught separately the same material in age appropriate ways. On the other hand, the Church is not a perfectly working mechanical system. Instead of changing the family to fit its schedule, it should revolve around the family’s schedule. One the question remains, how do we fit so many families into one big schedule so that everyone can be together and be the church?
I think it’s time to go back to the Bible and stop modeling our Churches after businesses, institutions, and governments. Those things only survive a few hundred years or less. What we need to do is go back to the Bible. Even a passage from the Old Testament would suffice. In fact, let’s take one of the most fundamental and sacred scriptures of all time, the shema, and examine it very closely.
Deuteronomy 6:4–9, 11:13–21(The Message), and lets cut out Numbers 15:37–41:
6:4 Attention, Israel! God, our God! God the one and only! 5 Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got! 6 Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you 7 and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. 8 Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; 9 inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.
11: 13 From now on if you listen obediently to the commandments that I am
commanding you today, love God, your God, and serve him with everything you have
within you, 14 he'll take charge of sending the rain at the right time,
both autumn and spring rains, so that you'll be able to harvest your grain, your
grapes, your olives. 15 He'll make sure there's plenty of grass for your
animals. You'll have plenty to eat. 16 But be vigilant, lest you be seduced
away and end up serving and worshiping other gods 17 and God erupts in
anger and shuts down Heaven so there's no rain and nothing grows in the fields,
and in no time at all you're starved out - not a trace of you left on the good
land that God is giving you. 18 Place these words on your hearts. Get them
deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder.
19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting
at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in
the morning until you fall into bed at night. 20 Inscribe them on the
doorposts and gates of your cities 21 so that you'll live a long time, and
your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for
as long as there is a sky over the Earth.
In this case, what was to be the place of instruction and fellowship in this scripture? The answer is everywhere, but especially in the homes. In fact, all of life was supposed to be the sanctuary of fellowship and family. Paul tells us that we are God’s temple, his kingdom of priests. That eliminates any restrictions.
In my thinking the head of the Church is Jesus Christ, the heart and blood are the five fold ministry (Ephesians 4:11; Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Teachers, and Pastors), and the backbone is the Family. Without these things the Church is crippled and unfit. Church should start in the home, and the daily lives of the family. Its numbers should be small enough to fit one or two families and some people whose family is physically too far away or spiritually cut off; small enough to be adaptable. When a church splits because of size the family will stay together. Everyone will share life together and experience fellowship in such a way that way that the family supports the rest of the members and the rest of the members support the family. No matter what happens, everyone will be there for each other. In fact this is a great way to redeem people who come from broken homes and there is plenty of that. I think that my organic church is a great example of how something like this might work. Though far from perfect and not the only way, here is a picture of how things work, and a picture of the way we might handle a tragedy.
My immediate Church family currently consists of Danielle 31, Justin and Tracy Taylor 25, Chris, Sarah (thirties), and Macee (5) Dilbone, and me (23). We usually meet for supper and church on Sundays, though it is so much more than just “church.” We take turns on whose place it’s going to be at, which opens our lives up to each other even more. Sometimes we are exposed to some of each other’s routines and even crisis’ that otherwise we wouldn’t be exposed to. Having supper on Tuesdays is a common occurrence, though many other friends come as well who are not a part of our church family and we all visit and have a good time. That doesn’t restrict the Holy Spirit from moving, and it has happened on more than one occasion. Sometimes on Fridays we get together in town or other places, and have further accountability on Sunday mornings. Lately we have been getting together with some people at halfway houses in Toledo. This only scratches the surface because we randomly hang out at other times, and no one can truly understand what it’s like unless they experience it for themselves.
What if years down the road Chris died, or Sara, and Macee were left with only one parent? This is assuming that we would all still be together. For the scenario’s sake we will say that Chris has died, and Sarah decides not to remarry for at least a couple of years, say five. Let’s say Macee is now twelve, I am engaged, Danielle is married, and Justin and Tracy have two kids. That puts the number at ten plus eight other people who have joined in over the years, giving us a grand total of eighteen members.
The Sunday after the funeral we are at Danielle’s place and there are two dominant issues that are brought to our minds. The first of our concerns is the Dilbone family. Macee needs a father figure in her life and Sarah might need some extra financial support. It is quickly decided how much they need on a weekly basis till things get worked out, and the Church makes allocates the appropriate funds. Actually the budget is stretched thin so eventually Scott’s home church pitches in a little support as well.
Macee started the “you know what” stage of her life and she and Sara (not to mention the rest of us) are grieving the loss of a great father and husband (brother and friend). To complicate things a little bit, we all feel the Holy Spirit calling us to split since our numbers are causing accountability and fellowship to diminish.
The discussion continues over a meal and over several hours. Though Macee is our main concern we randomly talk a lot of Chris, the role that he played as prophet to our Christian community, and the good times we shared together, especially his ability to fart at unique times and in unique ways. At one point a scripture is brought up:
Luke 8:19-21 (NLT)
Once when Jesus' mother and brothers came to see him, they couldn't get to him
because of the crowds. Someone told Jesus, "Your mother and your brothers are
outside, and they want to see you."
Jesus replied, "My mother
and my brothers are all those who hear the message of God and obey it."
It is then realized that the father figure(s) should obviously come from our immediate church family and who they are will influence how we decide to split. The fact that we have lived life together for eight or so years only makes things easier on us. In fact, Justin is already a father figure. Even more, Macee has not only been learning what mom and dad and husband and wife and child are from just Chris and Sarah for the past few years, but from Justin and Tracie and their two children as well. In fact, Justin and Tracie have been learning parenting from the Dilbones.. After some discussion and prayer Justin and Tracie feel convicted to stay with the Dilbones as an organic church. Let me make it clear that Justin would not become her adopted father, but take up the role and some of the responsibilities. No one else could fill the absent spot in Macee’s life that Chris filled the right way. No matter how well they knew him.
It turns out that Danielle and her husband are also convicted to stay with the Dilbones and the Taylors. As for My fiancé and I, we knew that we had been great role models to Macee in living out our courtship in front of her. We knew that she would know what to expect of herself and a future boyfriend. There were no regrets when we announced that we had felt called away from this organic church. That is not to mention that our LTG’s have been wanting to meat as a church for quite some time, so we knew that we would have to split.
To make it even better, Macee was baptized three years ago and is even now displaying some spiritual gifts. We have no doubt that the Dilbones, the Taylor’s, the Carrasquillos, and the Holy Spirit would keep her accountable, especially since she would be living out her future relationships in front of the Church. The great paradox is that we had learned a great deal from the Dilbones and Taylors as well. Even more, our parents were great role models and would continue to be. My fiancé and I felt completely at peace about the split.
Six others felt called to split and form another organic Church as well, leaving Macee’s supporting church family at a count of ten. My fiancé’s Life Transformation Group and mine would join to form an organic church of six plus two others that decided to split with us our Church family.
Needless to say at the end of the day there were many tears shed. Though we wouldn’t be completely separated it was going to be tough. We ultimately decided to have a three way “wedding” ceremony in which we would all celebrate the split. Though not as festive as a real wedding it was very fun to gather and fellowship with the rest of the Bowling Green Organic/House Church community. Even the Stetlers and some of their Columbus community came out as well. Everyone had a great time and the church lived happily ever after (happy music playing in the background)…that is until the Anti-Christ usurped his predestined throne two months later (the happy music is interrupted by a doomsday choir tune [J/K]).
Of course not every family oriented Church will end up looking like this. Just think of all the possibilities though with all sorts of broken families and stuff. Of course, how do we change the current system without dramatic losses in relationships and connections in the current system, and without embarrassing drama that is unneeded? Well, this is reality, and such things are inevitable. However Wolfgang Simpson provides some advice on this topic in his book, Houses That Change the World. Some other good readings are The Organic Church, and Dear Church. The most in depth study though is done by Wolfgang Simpson. Actually I haven’t finished Dear Church yet, so the jury is still out. Anyways, happy thinking, and if you actually had the courage to read this whole dang long thing, feel free to make some comments. It is much appreciated, whether it is for or against my views
